It's Okay

Now that my freshman year of college has come to a close, I have realized that I have learned quite a few important things this year.

My entire life I have been called shy, and it really bothers me that people see this as a bad thing. I personally don't consider myself shy anymore, but I am definitely more introverted. I prefer to stay in and play video games or watch Netflix on a Friday night than go out and get drunk like most of my peers. I don't have anything against that lifestyle, I just don't understand why people feel the need to criticize my life choices. If staying home on the weekends is what makes me happy, then who are you to say that what I'm doing is wrong or bad?

So for all you shy people out there that have a hard time making friends and prefer not to go out every night, that's okay. How you live your life is completely up to you. That being said, don't be afraid to venture out into the world every once in a while. Take little risks here and there, and learn something new.

And above all, love who you are and don't be afraid to share your lovely self with others.

Courage

If I've learned one thing in college so far (although I’d like to think I've learned a few more than that) it’s that change is really scary. I became so accustomed to and comfortable with high school life because it was basically all I knew. Therefore the college transition didn't come as naturally to me. Sure, I’m doing well in all my classes, and I love the roomy schedule, but I’m lacking a bit in the social department.

I had developed a strong network of friends in high school, but I’m quickly realizing that not all of those friendships will last forever. I’m holding on tight to people I probably ought to let go of, and I think that’s what’s keeping me from making new friends.

I’m constantly gravitating away from social activities and into my dorm room, and it’s leaving me feeling empty and like I’m lacking the “real college experience.” Change is something that terrifies me more than anything. I am a person who loves routine. I wake up at the same time, eat the same breakfast, wear the same clothes, and do the same mundane tasks. I’m starting to realize that living my life in a shell like this is not actually considered living.

Now, I’m not saying that I want to change who I am completely and drop all my old friends, but I need to start shedding my old skin and inviting new people into my life. I need to break out of my shy shell and show people who I really am because I actually think I’m pretty great (in a totally non self-absorbed way).

One thing I am particularly not happy with is the fact that I tend to pre-judge people. If I see a really pretty girl, I automatically think she is some ditsy sorority girl, but that is definitely not always the case. I have learned this especially through my roommate, Michaela. Although we hardly ever talk, I can see that she is both a sorority girl and a kind and generous person with pretty great taste in music.

I've had five months to get to know her and my other roommate Danielle, but we never set that foundation. I wish we had that close bond like I hear my UNL friends talk about, but no one initiated our friendship. Judging by what I see on social media and hear through the paper thin dorm room walls, we would get along just fine and could possibly even be good friends. Maybe I was supposed to be the one to light the fire. I guess I'll never know.

So I guess what I’m trying to say, is that it’s time for me to start enforcing positive change in my life, and letting go of all the people that are holding me back. I may not know who I am or where I’m going, but I know that if I look hard enough, I’ll find it soon enough.